Yes, It's An Actual Super Smash Brothers Piece (Originally Published On (11/10/2017)

Hello again, Ladies and Gentlemen,


Nintendo recently asked fans who they'd like to see as a new character in the new Super Smash Brothers game, and, while I should admit to not reading the article or, frankly, not caring what was said in almost any sense, I do, as a fan, want to contribute my own pennys worth of comments and opinions to their growing list of folks who've provided unsolicited advice. So without further ado...


To provide those who are unfamiliar with the game with a little bit of context, the characters from each game are (my favorites are marked with a star [*]):


Super Smash Brothers


Mario - Link - Donkey Kong - Samus - Yoshi - Kirby - Fox* - Pikachu

HIDDEN: L***i - N**s - C***** F****n - J********f


Super Smash Brothers Melee


Mario - Pikachu - Bowser - Peach - Yoshi - Donkey Kong - Captain Falcon* -

Fox - Ness - Ice Climbers - Kirby - Samus - Zelda - Link

HIDDEN: D* M***o - L***i - F***o - P***u - J********f - M****o - M* G*** *

W**** - M***h - R*y - Y***g L**k - G*******f


Super Smash Brothers Brawl


Mario - Donkey Kong - Link - Samus - Kirby - Fox - Pikachu* - Diddy Kong -

Zelda / Sheik - Pit - Metaknight - Pokemon Trainer - Ike - Peach - Yoshi -

Ice Climbers - King Dedede - Bowser - Wario - Olimar - Lucas

HIDDEN: M***h - M* G*** * W***h - L***i - F***o - S***e - G******f - W**f -

L*****o - N**s - S***c - T*** L**k - R*b - C***** F****n - J********f


Please note: >>>I have made the names of hidden players restricted to encourage players to play the game, but I'm likely to reference them in the bit, so consider this a FAIR WARNING; if you have not played the game, I deeply apologize for this. <<<


I would like to submit my first suggestion: Ryuk from DEATH NOTE.


This character will mess you up in a fight; just imagine it, the "god of death" showing up to fight puny Mario and his Fireballs, which are now much less intimidating when compared to the power of actually luring one to their inevitable death in one of many ways - much like Quan Chi from Mortal Kombat casting a spell over his victim and rewriting the end of their story according to his desire.


The truth is, perhaps Ryuk wouldn't be the best character to put in a game against Ganondorf. The fight, although entertaining and interesting, could become monotonous after two or so matches because, let's face it, Ryuk would have maybe six moves TOTAL and the rest of the time he would just stand there, er, float there and taunt and laugh at his opponent(s), so he might be a very poor choice if we had to give him this as his next incarnation - it would be almost as bad as the entire Death Note film released this year (2017).


Speaking of Mortal Kombat, a good "kombatant" to join the ranks could be the worst (or best, and by best, I mean cheapest) fighter to set foot in the arena - Noob. That's right, ladies and gentle folks, not Scorpion or Sub Zero, plain ol' Noob with his best element Saibot. Two peas in a pod. I keep asking myself why I would settle for just one character when I could have two who work together unlike any character in Super Smash Brothers yet. Noob would be choice for both long-range attack and close up, hand to hand boxing. We could even include his X-Ray move from Mortal Kombat 9; this would give even Ryuk a good reason to hide behind Light and retreat back to his otherworldly desert.


Before we leave the Mortal Kombat universe, we should also mention one of the spin-off games in the franchise, 'Mortal Kombat Vs. DC', where I would direct attention to the character Batman. The Dark Knight could use some good publicity after Ben Affleck portrayed him as a high tech monster (admittedly, I haven't seen the movie). Using a similar construct, Mr. Waynes masked presence could prove delightful to fans of the Bat as well as loyalists of the Super Smash Brothers franchise.


Although he could be deemed a tad too aggressive for younger fans, the premise of the game is a punch-em-up style so it could be considered a good way to push boundaries within the games scene itself, not to mention Batmans no-kill policy. He would nearly rival the effects of Captain Falcon or Donkey Kong and a couple other hard-core characters already found in the first three releases. The use of tagging, similar to Pokemon Trainer in Super Smash Brothers Brawl, could also make bring fellow Batman associates, like Robin, Batgirl, Nightwing, or Batman Beyond, to the table.


The next character under consideration is another cartoon character from the Cartoon Network line-up, and, even better, is a villain. Mojojojo made his debut alongside three sweet girls who were the result of an experiment, and, while there is much speculation primarily surrounding the actual storyline, Mojojojo remains one of my favorite villains in the whole cartoon universe mostly because of his goofy personality and his over the top reactions. His cartoonish antics would fit in perfectly with the toony beat-them-up franchise and would offer players a glimpse of the '90's they likely didn't get to live through.


His make up would obviously be much closer to Diddy Kong or Kirby than Ness or Pikachu, but his crazy desire to dominate would set him on the way to quickly becoming a fan favorite if done correctly. Out of his typical gang, there could be room for tagging, especially with Him being an option, but there can only be one flamboyant jerk in this game and Mojojojo would automatically take the cake, not that we don't love Him.


As we come to the final suggestion, I would like to be a tad transparent and rightly mention a Mr. Grossenbacher, with whom I bounced ideas for the final character. Thank you.


Spongebob Squarepants. The King of the underwater adventure series and favorite to millions of children would be a fantastic addition to the respectable franchise and would put a smile on many a losers face. It would be a thrill to be able to put Mario, Wario, Sonic, and Spongebob in the ring and watch the sponge flyswatter his way to victory.


Among his moves could be: an ability to throw Gary, blowing bubbles, a rainbow deflector, and a quick morph into the spectacular super version of himself from the Spongebob movie. We could even rally for a special Bikini Bottom Arena Stage complete with Mr. Krabs in the background, Patrick, Plankton, and the usual neighborhood as an interactive place to duke it out. Of course, not all characters can breathe underwater so perhaps using Sandys inverted aquarium would be more ideal, but that would leave the player playing as a fishbowl wearing Spongebob (the fish from Chicken Little, anyone?). It's all about compromise.


So there it is, ladies and gentlemen, My list of five characheters it would be nice to see brought into the lineup for the next Super Smash Brothers game. I really don't know if there will be another one (I hope there will be), and I don't want to get the fans' hopes up but I thought it'd be fun to write. Do you have any thoughts on characters I might have missed or better suggestions? Drop me a line and let me know.


Thanks for your time. Have fun playing guys! Be safe.

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